No trespassing beyond this point

2006-12-02T11:45:00.000+08:00

Expired since like, forever.

New blog here.

2005-10-18T19:10:00.000+08:00

My sandwich and salad girls.

Meeting MJ for lunch equals one thing, "no ang moh food, ok." It's often so hard to find anyone who would want to eat sandwiches/salads for lunch. J used to be my only healthy-lunch pal, and now I've found T, my colleague who also has trouble looking for friends who want to eat ang moh food.

Recently we've been lunching together and today we were off to toast. I love these places, healthy food can be so yummy, and so many varieties too! The best bit is, I usually feel extremely bloated or get hungry easily even after a heavy lunch, but never so with sandwiches/salads!

p/s And whenever my pocket feels the pinch, I know there is always subway round the corner.

2005-10-17T23:21:00.000+08:00

Lan Yu: A review.

First there were the weird and seemingly dirty old men in the cinema. Quite a few of them, apparently early mornings are the times to catch 'em in action at their respective R21 picks where (normal) movie-goers barely trickle in. The lengths I go to just so I get to watch that movie - as fate would have it, I did and at 10.30am on a saturday morning (tickets were sold out the night before when I reached the cinema). Early but definitely not a morning gone to waste, my mind loves the intellectual stimulation even as my body attempts to catch up (J and I walked in five minutes late, in the dark).

Amid depressing undertones, Lan Yu tells a story of two men spanning ten over years although we couldn't really tell if not for specific age references over time. Han dong was the typical (maybe not so typical) successful well-connected businessman who developed a taste for same-sex liaisons with teenage boys (first lan yu, then a certain fling with a teenage athlete) in his promiscuous lifestyle. But lan yu, gave his all despite being told by han dong that their relationship would only last as long as their passion could, and not a day more. Thus began the ninety minutes we were given to observe of a long-drawn relationship that ended in a tragic finale of refused familiarity.

Stanley kwan is adept at painting subtleties on a canvas long unaccepted by the asian society at large. At times, dirty talk in chinese just seemed so strange (yo we are definitely exposed to western erotica too much!) but I reckon it more a matter of getting used to it than anything else. Explicit scenes (plentiful in the original internet novel version) are limited to post-coital conversations or playful gropings, which to me at least, are in much better taste than the first 10 minutes of wong kar-wai's Happy Together. And not to mention also, definitely less demanding on the two straight-in-real-life actors.

Overall, among all the gay-themed movies I've viewed so far, this certainly takes the cake as a must-watch. Lan Yu provides a brilliant insight into single-sex relationships - not all that different? - and explores the issues couples (both homosexual and heterosexual) encounter, surprisingly alike in more ways than we thought. The tensions, the insecurities, the well-meaning surprise-turned-bad are admittedly not anything new.

Who doesn't know the stronger party in a relationship is often inevitably the one who receives more than gives, being in control and leaving the weaker person to suffer in all his capacity to love. Sometimes it is not even a question of reciprocality when time simply runs out on you. So you see, we all really aren't that different. That's probably the inner world stanley kwan wanted us to see for ourselves.

2005-10-14T01:32:00.000+08:00

I dig chinese arthouse flicks.

Looks like I have to work late tomorrow and so there goes my movie date. I'm not much of a movie-goer and it has to happen in one of the few times I find a movie I so so want to watch. I guess this has to be my only consolation for now. There seems to be no slots in the weekend, thanks to a screwed up site, I can't help but wonder how people get their tickets when movies-watching is all the fad in this city. Let's hope it will still be playing next week, fingers crossed. I really better be working late (like past 8pm) tomorrow, and I mean it.

2005-10-12T03:04:00.000+08:00

Monroe shows us it is possible for some flab and sex appeal to co-exist happily.

Never let this intolerant world mislead you. Look to this if you're ever confused and wavering but then again, this is no excuse for stuffing yourself silly with a trashy diet or not heading to the gym when you need it.

2005-10-12T02:04:00.000+08:00

Superduperstuff.

Honestly this can't qualify as a review because I've only had the chance to listen to two songs sent over via msn by a dear friend in beijing... and I'm already hooked. I think they've got incredible potential if they'd wean off the soundalikes and develop more of their own style in time to come. These boys aren't your typical mainland flash-in-the-pan acts, well they are anything but. With heavy indie-brit/pop rock influences (think chinese-infused coldplay), 果味VC makes refreshing easy listening tunes this summer with a new album 《来自VC的礼物》. Go chekkit out!

2005-10-10T16:39:00.000+08:00

Ok they win we lose.

This is so hilarious it almost made me laugh at my laptop screen and was decidingly effective at getting rid of that bored on monday doing unexciting tasks stupor. And speaking of the strange new virgin birth concept (sweepingly mentioned in link), alright it isn't new exactly but it does seem so rare nowadays. Putting decadence and emotive aspects of indulgence (which asian parent generations don't buy into) aside, I'm sure it has something to do with certain environmental factors i.e. early coupling/ pre-arranged marriages in the old days and the current societal postponement of marriages. I mean, people then don't have to wait so long and that probably puts matters in their favor. Eh it does make plenty of sense, ain't it? Ha ha.

2005-10-10T10:27:00.000+08:00

Day out with the cousin.

While waiting for a bus that suspiciously never came, ok my bad.

Gorgeous flower prints on a bag from hk.

Late afternoon sun on office buildings.

Yummy sashimi salad.

Lobster salad sushi is not bad too.

Salmon maki satisfies that thirst for salmon sashimi, cheaply. You can actually taste the salmon in generous chunks indeed, unlike the usual elsewhere.

Kiddo on conveyor belt.

Happy birthday P, almost a big girl already!

2005-10-09T00:17:00.000+08:00

Reality check.

During the weekends, I eat too much, and sleep too much, not to mention play too many silly games.

2005-10-08T20:23:00.000+08:00

I'm secretly morbid inside I know.

I saw a little toddler kid standing by the glass railings while waiting for N with A last night. Then something lit up in my mind:

The last thing she heard was the sound of her own scream.

And I like it the way it is.

2005-10-08T17:17:00.000+08:00

Friday evening reception.

Did I tell you this is my favorite painting of the lot?

2005-10-06T19:56:00.000+08:00

Hear ye!

I'm surprised I can actually post after such a long while, well long to me in blogging days.

2005-09-25T11:16:00.000+08:00

Weekend away from home visiting grandma.

So you want to go somewhere.

Looking at.

Kings of convenience.

The bestest dim sum that never fails to draw us back.

Old world charm.

2005-09-22T20:33:00.000+08:00

I'm hungry (again).

Maybe I'm pregnant or there are wriggly worms in my tummy. It's true, these were some of my suspicions over my amazing appetite. XT can certainly attest to that for I am the girl who would eat two lunches. These days I have to conscientiously cut down on food intake to make sure I don't grow obese.

2005-09-22T00:16:00.000+08:00

Boys who certainly know how to rock it.

2005-09-21T08:03:00.000+08:00

Getting jiggy with it.

So A did manage to get us complimentary tickets to watch black eyed peas last night. I don't know all of their songs or all the bandmembers' names but I guess it was pretty neat on the whole, partly cos I get to see fergie prancing about on stage and witness her oh-so-powerchoking vocals. I'm off to a band competition tonight with E and D and probably be down at gotham penthouse this saturday. Can't wait.

In other news, I'm officially tangled up in red tape. Trust me it ain't no fun anticipating.

2005-09-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

I'm that girl.

I'm the girl who isn't as fickle as you think, just trying to take the plunge. I'm the one who asks you if not now, then when? And if it already feels so tough now, how about later - with all that emotional baggage, ageing parents, a six-year-old daughter? I'm the one walking the talk asking for a chance. To prove my worth, to challenge those limits, to see the world. Only, only if you let me to.

Note: So troubled I'm not in the right mind to tinker paragraphs, this has got to be the shortest, most hurried one of the lot.

2005-09-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

Festival in the park.

2005-09-18T20:35:00.000+08:00

Opening of 72-13 friday 16 sept 2005.

2005-09-18T19:24:00.000+08:00

Almost sleazy karaoke.

So long my friend, brother bear.

2005-09-18T01:26:00.000+08:00

Pushing it.

In beijing, 二锅头 costs only RMB4 but the same retails at a whooping RMB40-equivalent in singapore!

2005-09-15T02:11:00.000+08:00

Good enough reason for absence.

After days of troubleshooting, so well now there is wireless lan at home. Not to mention that my sister has been forced to become more tech-knowledgeable than ever before. In the coming days, she will also be forced to pick up the ways of apple-fluency.

Faster speed, a new ibook and simultaneous connections mark the end of that "You've been hogging it for the past hours.." and "Gimme five minutes more!" era. I don't mind getting the worn out overloaded fujitsu even, peace out.

2005-09-11T19:53:00.000+08:00

Sessions with poptart saturday 10 sept 2005 at phuture!

XR in her retro bangkok top, funny hamsem adrian who turns out rather boyish (!) real life, preppy zaidi, my tsinghua university tee, great music I'm going to get to know more of and the yummy zouk photo pass... what a night.

2005-09-11T05:44:00.000+08:00

Poptart rocks.

But I missed plug in baby when adrian played it for me damn damn damn.

Pictures to come shortly.

2005-09-10T17:09:00.000+08:00

The only way to grow is older, part three.

2005-09-10T16:41:00.000+08:00

My long walk to meeting friends a subway stop away for lunch most days.

Experimental random shots from the hip and attempting to reconstruct graphic documentation. Deliberate fragments of my environment, waiting to be captured. From angles we usually forsake, the end product is always accidental. Leave me alone with a camera, I can easily amuse myself for hours.

2005-09-08T22:52:00.000+08:00

No room for weakness here.

Today I fought back and nasty things probably await me tomorrow. I will be strong because if I don't help myself, no one else really could, even if they want to.

2005-09-08T07:46:00.000+08:00

Gimme some space, will you!!

Love can be so suffocating, and I don't mean the boy/girl kind.

2005-09-08T01:32:00.000+08:00

Youth is best spent in a bikini (less 5kg).

I've been conscientiously trying to cut down on sugar, carbs and junk food. Currently on the lookout for a gym buddy as my routine will start next week, anyone?

2005-09-06T23:21:00.000+08:00

On being tricked to walk to (nearly and eventually) far east square.

Here's my sin-free teochew porridge, also extremely pocket-friendly too.

This is one of the oldest temples around singapore, and it sits awkwardly in the middle of the central business district. I go there with my family about once a year, it's pretty inside. Well, that's if you are into spiral incense coils, age-old wall murals and the musty smell of dingy interiors.

2005-09-06T07:29:00.000+08:00

Possible subway overdose to most but not to me.

Not even when lunch was a cold cut trio sandwich, then an oatmeal raisin cookie for teabreak and another sandwich for dinner.

2005-09-06T00:40:00.000+08:00

Missing astreal.

I hereby officially announce the birth of a new catchphrase, wusser (wussy loser). New labelling, same old freaks. Boy I'm evil beyond redemption.

2005-09-06T00:17:00.000+08:00

Explain to me the logic.

My firm can afford to supply all employees with a spiffy IBM laptop each yet expects us to buy our own calculators. And don't gimme the crap about would you rather buy your own laptop.

p/s Haha, I think I really sound more angsty than I really am.

2005-09-05T02:23:00.000+08:00

Some of my buys.

One-of-a-kind vintage necklace. Chunky, I like.

Reliving childhood with the superduper lego ring. Who needs powerpuff girls?

Ok so I didn't buy these, I persuaded my sister to. Damn I so wish I have ear holes. What a bargain too, at just $8.

Heh, these aren't from the flea market so I have to admit. I settled for them after I discovered the disappointing aerosoles varieties. Hope they would be comfy.

2005-09-05T02:00:00.000+08:00

We luv flea markets.

Bright lights, cool tempos and a club transformed.

Swoosh abstract.

Take me home.

High on... drugs/ booze/ ciggies/ shopping.

View from the racks.

Woof! Fluffy pets which look like vintage toys are allowed on premises.

You framed me.

Change, try and buy.

The sellers.

A prize for whoever can guess correctly where this mural is found on zouk premises. We are usually too sloshed to notice, remember.

2005-09-05T01:51:00.000+08:00

One more reason to exercise regularly.

New flavors abound, this one i like very much.

2005-09-03T23:38:00.000+08:00

You belong in paris.

Stylish and a little sassy, you were meant for paris.
The art, the fashion, the wine, the men!
Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park...
You'll love living in the most chic place on earth.

Take the quiz.

Or rather, DON'T because it's far from right. I may not mind paris (or new york for that matter) but eh I most certainly belong to beijing and it's not even among the options! No fair, liar and rest assured this will be the first and last and only quiz I'll ever put up here.

2005-09-01T23:34:00.000+08:00

Go french.

If you two take one leg each, I'll be left with nothing.

You never thought you would still play with food. At 23, some boys still do.

The desserts probably tasted good judging by their expressions.

A reunion of the gang that hung out all the time in junior college. No idea when we'll get to do this again with E flying back to Edinburgh in coupla days' time.

E gives a demonstration on how to look seductive, complete with tilted head and whipped cream.

I must say I sucked at it (Hey that man behind wasn't laughing at me, I swear).

The sleazy place directly opposite the cafe.

So old school. I realize I love all things retro except the music.

We had a silly joke about the road name. Residents cheow keng* all the time, naturally.

* Local speak (verb) for being lazy and slack

2005-09-01T21:55:00.000+08:00

So strange.

On my way home this evening, I noticed a guy at the bus-stop standing a little distance away from me, smoking. My heart skipped a beat. He looked so much like C I had to look his way again. That hair, his features. And when I glanced over again, he had disappeared.

2005-08-31T23:13:00.000+08:00

Blink and you'll miss it.

Bit by bit, revamp in progress.

2005-08-31T00:26:00.000+08:00

Guilty pleasures.

Ham, brie camembert cheese, bread, orange juice with pulp, cheddar cheese, nutella spread, mushrooms spaghetti in tomato sauce with added tabasco sauce, lime juice with a scoop of lemon sorbet, calamari, mozzarella cheese and tomato salad with balsamic vinegar...

Assorted sushi, cha soba (x2), salmon sashimi (x2)...

Goat cheese salad, bread with olive oil/ balsamic vinegar, sausage platter, duck leg confit, braised oxtail, creme brulee, lemon tart...

I think I am undeservedly overfed.

2005-08-29T00:35:00.000+08:00

Weekend update.

"I had a very bad relationship with my mother. No she didn't abuse me, she loves me too much." says tang.

Thighs and excitable feet.

Self portrait.

Shirlyn is so good she rocks. I'll be back again.

Blubby nue naked girl goes france. Be nice and good.

For all the gallup girls in the world, heh.

2005-08-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

A piece of family history.

Over dinner tonight, I just discovered that my paternal grandmother's dad was one of those folks captured by japanese soldiers during the occupation. So no one knew the exact day he died, or how he died.

2005-08-28T21:44:00.000+08:00

Lime only to remove the pungent bitter taste.

Two (homemade) shots considered neat are good to make me pass out. Maybe I should do this more often since I really should catch more sleep. I've been so tired these days I even doze off while standing in the train, ha ha it's embarrassing. Yet it's not as if I'm all that busy with work, just that I've either been out late or staying up on the internet, all self-inflicted doses of sleep deficiency.

2005-08-27T18:02:00.000+08:00

From the financial district to gig.

Crossing the bridge.

Merlion under blue skies.

Red beads.

Wannabe.

XR and I had dinner at purvis street.

Waiting... to cross the road.

Almost like checking out an album at the listening booth in hmv, i decided that electrico is definitely spiffy, but eh probably be better if daniel isn't prancing around on the stage so much.

2005-08-26T00:46:00.000+08:00

Two different lifestyles, too different lifestyles.

2005-08-24T00:02:00.000+08:00

When no one's around.

Documenting the too-fast-for-comfort metamorphosis into adulthood.

2005-08-24T00:00:00.000+08:00

Today's lunch partner.

Adam sam-dler gives a shy grin because he thinks chinese girls are always trying to get into his pants.

2005-08-23T00:37:00.000+08:00

Late afternoon on a saturday, slight drizzle.

Makes for no better time to chill out and watch the world go by with a pal. We lazed the day away, intoxicated. I moped over my current depressing state of life reminding him that if he ever gets too complacent, just feel free to look over at his friend here for a reality check. And while he's at that, please warn her again that moderation is key. I am officially sinking into decadence, perhaps deliberately.

2005-08-22T23:40:00.000+08:00

You can’t get it wrong at all, mr prime minister.

So I make it a point not to watch it at all because in all honesty, time can be better wasted elsewhere. If you are really really keen, why not just read it off the newspapers the next day? They are bound to cover it point to point on page one and you’ll get the gist of what it was about LESS irksome laughter permeating from the audience at 10-minute intervals.

Everything he says is funny.

The slightest jab at (ya right) humor he attempts always generates the right response.

That has got to be national-level bootlicking at its best, and broadcasted 'live'. How humiliating to see all of these middle-aged men grinning and thinking they've got it all worked out just because they've secured this year's pristine invites. Eeks!

2005-08-20T11:43:00.000+08:00

Friday movie screening.

It was supposed to be an alumni event, who were all these people?

Ready, get set, go.

Just shows how rich-arse the alumni association is.

Conclusion: Willy wonka resembles michael jackson too much, oompa loompas are way too freaky and this is a bollywood movie, really.

2005-08-20T01:49:00.000+08:00

In search of roots.

Those faithful few following me through the years would have noticed the blog turning china-centric of late. I'm still pro-US nevertheless, perhaps only less noticeably but definitely covering new grounds.

2005-08-18T22:05:00.000+08:00

As days passed.

You said girls are usually the ones who didn't want you, and that you never forget the girl first like most boys do. Well, it's been a while since. Some things have changed, some things remain the same - like I said, I'll only forget you if you forget me first.

2005-08-18T01:50:00.000+08:00

From that's Beijing:

Best Bartender
Editors’ Pick: George Zhou, First Cafe
He’s friendly, conversant, efficient, yet never intrusive – and most importantly, he makes a mean martini. He’ll also play your kind of music on request. Service like this is at a premium in Beijing.

Woot, we've been there before and we know him! Tremendous piece of news because he's a really nice guy and all accomodating even though we were in the company of an extremely particular american male. George, who hails from anhui, is the same age as me and one more thing, XR finds him cute, heh. If we drop by beijing again, we'll be sure to head to first cafe without a doubt.

2005-08-18T01:12:00.000+08:00

Paying for.

The label, an irony. What's more ridiculous is that the site description claims it is imported. Well, true if you want to put it this way. I certainly think there is more justice rendered in paying USD225 for a black made-in-italy handbag than USD50 for this pouch.

2005-08-17T01:44:00.000+08:00

Enlightened.

Just inside the north gate of workers' stadium (工体北门) in beijing, lies a seemingly blatant clash, of ideals and of representation. First there is this huge typical stalinist statue of some workers/ peasants, then there are clubs lining both sides of it hinting more than a bit of western capitalist decadence. How ironic!

One night, while waiting for our friends to arrive, XR and I wickedly cornered Q, insisting that he explain to us the apparent inconsistencies. It is simply socialism with chinese characteristics, he says, nothing wrong with chinese people needing to have some beers or dance all night. Modern day socialists need to relax too, like anybody else. In fact there's no contradiction or evident idelogical failures because those are only chinese characteristics of socialism.

Now you realize chinese people are actually oh so smart. Whatever that doesn't fit into your usual definition of socialism, insert as desired into the latter part. Ta-da, socialism never dies. The vulgar excesses of consumerism witnessed in its coastal cities are but part and parcel of (repeat after me) socialism with chinese characteristics.

2005-08-16T01:45:00.000+08:00

Back to junior college days.

Campus grounds have changed quite a bit.

Mass dancing evolved into dirty dancing.

I cannot fathom how we used to be like them, so fanatical over mass dances.

Smile pretty boys.

Hey mirror, it's been so many years.

Our table has got so much history man.

I used to hang out here all the time, like 80% of my two years there. I had fun but what a waste of youth, way too wholesome for my liking now.

2005-08-15T22:20:00.000+08:00

They said they ran out of champagne glasses.

The weekend passed by so quickly I almost missed it. I revisited new asia after an extremely long hiatus with A on friday. Nothing much has changed, same old crowd and same old songs. And the moët, courtesy of A, was great. Even though I've come to realize that the dj is A's friend, I still think he does a bad job most times. Sometimes he's alright, and that's only just sometimes. I'm glad my favorite bouncer still remembers me, I'm pleasantly surprised. That has got to be the only reason why I'll still head back.

2005-08-14T00:32:00.000+08:00

The only way to grow is older, part two.

You gotta blow them all out.

Dancing away, the foursome.

2005-08-13T10:56:00.000+08:00

The only way to grow is older, part one.

The red is awesome but not the retro music.

The birthday boy, contented with his lot.

2005-08-10T20:57:00.000+08:00

Yawn.

I'm in business suit today just because that and the spaghetti-strap tank top inside need no ironing. So it's not like I love dressing up and looking professional mid-week. After lunch and 2.59pm, I'm falling asleep at work. The train seat was so crampy last night I hardly got any sleep. College loan repayments, the urge to get out of singapore responsibly and mangled thoughts about C flood my mind; so depressing they only leave me confused. How I wish I can sleep it all off and when I wake up, everything will be fine. Yeah, I wish.

2005-08-09T18:01:00.000+08:00

Not so boring after all.

I'm now in kuala lumpur and I just got a tiger beer tee, surprise find at chinatown, woot!

2005-08-08T07:20:00.000+08:00

The urge to.

I'm such a nerd. I'm so broke yet I just blew $40 on two books during the weekend.

2005-08-06T00:47:00.000+08:00

Congratulations shereen, we're gonna miss you.

The woman actually got married last saturday in a perfect muslim (in short, halal food and no alcohol - ack!) wedding. I can't believe I'm bordering onto that marriageable age phase already, this being my first girlfriend-type wedding unlike the usual (boring) family affair types. She got a bunch of us to help out at the reception welcoming guests and checking table numbers, a little chaotic but all's fine in the end.

We agreed that her wedding dinner quite doubled as the recent graduation dinner we all boycotted. Everyone's dressed in her best and all made up, and more importantly we're having twice the fun. With omer having a beard these days, we are joking on how shereen could perhaps pen an autobiography soon, somewhat along the lines of "I am married to a terrorist - A singaporean girl's journey to wales, al qaeda and beyond", heh.

She's leaving for wales tomorrow, and likely not coming back in the near future. Be happy and don't forget us because we'll probably need to bunk in at your place when we head europe next time. Remember if you ever need an au pair one day, you sure know where to look. -wink-

2005-08-05T22:52:00.001+08:00

Just chillin' out with great food and easy-listening live music.

T brought me to this cozy place last night that might become one of my haunts in due course. I think it just opened not too long ago so there's so few people you could hardly call it a crowd. We dig the great courtyard/outdoorsy atmosphere and the talented guys on stage who called themselves 52nd street (ah weirdass,but nevermind). I owe him a treat in three weeks' time, so I guess I'll be heading that way soon enough, and hopefully be hearing better news from him about his girl.

2005-08-05T07:00:00.000+08:00

Starry-eyed surprise.

I got to hear from C after so long, and that makes me a very happy girl indeed.

2005-08-03T22:56:00.000+08:00

I think these can make me rather happy.

Perfect in grey and black/green. Need me say more? That's it, I'll pamper myself in two months' time.

2005-08-02T23:12:00.000+08:00

How poignant.

Well not exactly like how it sells itself out to be. A waitress had come to our table balancing a tray full of cute ickle cup samples and quartered-green straws, certainly nice treats but I still wasn't convinced to pay S$7.50 for a venti. I'm more hung up on the lovely poster instead.

2005-08-02T21:12:00.000+08:00

Sigh, sigh.

2005-08-01T23:56:00.000+08:00

Officially a working adult.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Today's only day one, full of talks and speeches cooped in a training room. I don't really know anyone yet I don't feel like meeting new people. Tomorrow I'll be brought to my desk, and likely another round of introductions/ handshakes. I am so dreading this. How I yearn to be a student once again.

2005-07-31T22:34:00.000+08:00

Thirds.

I.

At the starbucks cafe he asked about my plans for the night. We both were ready to adjust our schedules just so we could hang out again, the third and last time before I was due to leave early next morning.

II.

His taxi was homebound when he got my call, he didn't think I was going to meet up after all. As he got the driver to head back, I stood at the corner of a junction, unsure if we could find each other again, waiting to get third time lucky.

III.

Three encounters and one last night back to where we first stumbled upon each other. All I've got are bitter-sweet memories of an impossible fate, holding out on god-knows-what the little bits. Tell me this is not the end.

2005-07-30T10:37:00.000+08:00

Not just another lazy thursday afternoon.

J and I were eating our subway lunches by the greens when we were approached for an interview by saatchi & saatchi guys. We can't help noticing the young dude handling the camera who looks like utt, and he's friendly in a shy way too.

Central business district, and I like the way the shadows fall on the buildings.

J looks ever the young professional in her flat pumps while I'm casual to the core. My legs seem so tanned next to hers, girl you ought to go catch some more sun yarr.

The interviewer girls turned camerawhores!

Sun setting by the riverside promenade.

XT caught redhanded with her sexy bottom.

Jaded geezer chilling out on his trishaw.

2005-07-29T11:50:00.000+08:00

Root of the problem.

Boiling down to this versus that.

2005-07-29T11:03:00.000+08:00

From Sarong party girl:

I had a little talk with some people over coffee yesterday, and one of the girls basically looked at me a little condescendingly and said it like I must be a completely weirdo and slut to consider every romantic, sexual conquest as an experience that has made me the person I am today [...]

Is virginity/ celibacy all that worth it? I think not. Sex with all those people I had slept with before doesn’t make me enjoy sex less with the people I really like. When you do it out of pure physical desire and emotion, out of an unadulterated want for the other person, sex stays pure. It’s when you start doing it to make yourself feel better, or specifically so you can get something materially tangible out of it that it starts to get bad. It’s just like how reading trashy chick-lit doesn’t stop be from enjoying something like The Unbearable Lightness of Being. I enjoy them both of course, but knowing the clear difference in quality doesn’t become an impossibility because my mind has been numbed by the other bits of trash that I’ve read and secretly enjoyed.

Oh the other hand, if you’ve never slept with at least a few people in your life, and you eventually marry someone out of insecurity (because you’ve never really experienced being wanted by anyone else), then you’ll just lead a half-assed romantic life for the rest of your life. Somehow it’s alright, because what you don’t know won’t hurt you. But I don’t think that’s true when it comes to romance. It’s biologically hardwired in people to require that their special other WANTS them. And at what level of want is necessary in order to stay sane in the relationship. And it’s a pity some people never have that.

And the other thing I realized was that it’s just a hell lot easier to defend being a virgin then to structure personal introspection into rational thought in order to get why you aren’t a virgin and am glad you are not (note, not proud, glad.) one to conventional Singaporean society. Either choice is not bad or good, it’s what you want at the end of the day that really matters. Choosing freely to preserve your virginity in this day and age takes as much confidence, courage and independence as choosing to sleep with who you want to when you wish. Both require independence from the opinions of the people that do not matter, and the confidence to live life how you really believe it should be led.

It’s the people that struggle to remain virgins, or sleep around to assuage their insecurities that make people on either end of the spectrum look at the other people on the other end with disdain and contempt. Pity, because the truth is, we’re both the same inside; we’re both choosing to live life how we believe it should be led.

It does make hell lot more sense than you think.

2005-07-29T10:59:00.000+08:00

Pause.

My recent travels is, without a doubt, still eating me up inside out today. What good would a fleeting glimpse do when it can only remind unceasingly of the dire environment I still lay trapped in?

2005-07-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

Seconds.

I.

We probably could have never met again. Haphazard emails and a foreign cellphone number he couldn't remember might have resulted in no second encounter, no way to find out if we will just be friends or anything else.

II.

Only an hour to spare plus a shopping mall neither of us is familiar with make for plenty of futile waits and searches for public phone booths. There being two mcdonald's in the area, he was at one while I was at another.

III.

All the near-misses merely magnify the randomness of how our paths had crossed in this strange city, a second chance. Half an hour had passed. So glad that when I finally found him we hugged tightly, amid strangers on the street.

2005-07-27T01:30:00.000+08:00

Firsts.

I.

Boyish-cute with a crooked grin that makes him even the more desirable, I didn't even know he exists, until he tapped me on the shoulder from behind. He had noticed me first.

II.

The first time I heard him speak was in a crowded, noisy club. "Where do you come from?" he asked as he leaned over closer to my ear. He, who was clad in a blue-striped polo tee, collar upturned and a single ear stud.

III.

He was alone, turned out his friends had left earlier. I like seeing him dance, because he could dance really well (and he knows it). Later, we held hands for the first time, two foreigners weaving through the crowd.

2005-07-26T01:29:00.000+08:00

Experiencing interviewer fatigue.

When our superiors said "own time, own target", they never meant to be taken so literally as XT and I have been doing these days since I came back. It certainly is helpful that the current batch of bank clients are hard to contact, have snotty secretaries or are in long meetings all day. I had lunch at 12pm, then had a second lunch at about 3pm. It probably does hold truth to how some people say food can be good solace to a demoralized soul (who was rejected all day). Later, just after work and before heading home for dinner, us three girls ended up at a sushi bar knowing very well I had not worked hard enough to deserve my delightful plate of salmon sashimi. I reached home, barely an hour after, and hungry. I do need to curb this insatiable appetite indeed.

Fooling around in the washroom, reminiscencing those suntanning days.

1 + 2.

2 + 3.

2005-07-24T11:14:00.000+08:00

Hard not to shoot yourself in the foot when that terrorism threat can turn on you anytime.

Oh well.

2005-07-24T03:15:00.000+08:00

Live from hogwarts.

2005-07-23T12:29:00.000+08:00

Trying to relive those days.

No one can look bad in a deel, really.

2005-07-23T12:07:00.000+08:00

And so the FGPs have (somewhat) graduated.

A decent shot, please.

Back to usual FOS selves.

2005-07-21T18:00:00.000+08:00

We love it being fooled.

Everyone says it wouldn't work out. I say it only won't because of the circumstances that encircle us; such that permit us to meet but not to last. I guess I won't ever know for sure, and I'm not sure if I want to. Yet with each passing day, I can't help but find out more. You miss me but you don't love me, do you? Truth is, we barely know each other well enough to love.

2005-07-19T02:28:00.000+08:00

One day my maos will become your maos.

2005-07-18T23:53:00.000+08:00

A short pop over to grandma's.

Once again, the dull KL landscape upon arrival.

Who can resist delicious wanton mee, dumplings and homemade barley water in chinatown?

We love grandma!

2005-07-17T20:09:00.000+08:00

Troubled youth, we are.

My brother approximately 8530km away thinks he is hiv-positive, as I battle problems of a different nature here. Life is so full of ups and downs, we barely can anticipate what comes next. Perhaps that is the only reason why, we all look forward to it.

P.s. Apologies for the lack of my promised backpacking narratives/ pictorials. Soon, hopefully.

2005-07-14T16:03:00.000+08:00

Recount, the final leg.

I reached HK knowing I never wanted to leave beijing at all if I could help it.

I hated HK, less the lovely family friend who had put us up at her apartment and made us feel at home. Not that I wasn't much of a shopping girl. The shopping paradise moniker seemed overexaggerated, either that or I wasn't in the right districts.

Putting aside all reasons for not wanting to leave beijing, HK is still too crowded, too.. alright, I can't exactly put my finger onto something concrete. I almost missed my flight back and left HK in a hurry I never expected, but thank god for the brilliant cathay staff who put me back on. I just will refuse to return to the place, unless absolutely necessary in the near future.

Yesterday I came upon a dog-eared version of The heart is a lonely hunter in the neighborhood mall near my grandma's place - the book talked about in a movie I'd watched on board the flight home. I had to get it, read for myself the novel written by the author when she was but 23 too.

2005-07-14T02:35:00.000+08:00

Not in town now.

Away in a foreign land till Friday morning, this time closer to home and surrounded by family, instead of strangers in a 10-bed hostel room.

I more than miss those days indeed. Baby, lock me up in beijing, anytime.

2005-07-09T14:47:00.000+08:00

Parting is hardly sweet sorrow.

So much has happened. I don't even know where to start.

2005-06-14T06:04:00.000+08:00

I turn 23 today.

The time has finally come for me to set off on an adventure of my own. Till ~~laters~~ 7 Jul. Updates are likely to be sporadic.

2005-06-12T12:00:00.000+08:00

In tandem with randomness.

Mom steamed some peanuts the other day. It's usually all good, except that this batch is mostly empty shells, worst I've ever seen and tried to eat.

Meeting #3, our very last before set-off, was at simpang bedok and lasted way past 2am.

My neighbor has gotten new kitties again, and they came meowing at our door last night.

How cute can this one get?

Check out those kitty paws! Aww!

2005-06-10T02:00:00.000+08:00

At least we don't do drugs.

We are our choice of poison indeed. I am casual, low maintenance, down to earth, it seems, heh. While D's favorite lychee martini may appear to be in the etc. category, a reconfirmation of his tendencies is found in port, something that he also drinks. Could be chance. Insisting that his favorite beer is kilkenny (imported beer category) doesn't help much really when there's about nothing positively conclusive about the male species in this humorous ~~biased~~ objective analysis.

2005-06-08T02:44:00.000+08:00

Meeting #2.

We were off to east coast park tonight and the entire group of five met together for the first time, including my sister and the new guy who would both join us for the hong kong leg. Great that everyone seemed to get along fine so far and we got to plan the itsy details fairly efficiently. I can't believe that we are actually setting off in less than a week, woo!

Exciting - be hanging out with cool beijing youth our age, attending hip events, getting on board the trans-siberian, exploring vast mongolian steppes, catching up in ulaanbaatar with bebe whom we had already given up for lost, enjoying dim sum in kowloon, ... I absolutely can't wait! Meanwhile I will be closely monitoring this and hope I won't miss out anything when I start packing this weekend.

I'm extremely grateful to the many generous people who are helping to make the trip possible by loaning me their huge-arsed deuter backpack, warm clothing (to combat currently sulky freezing temperatures in the far north) and wintry thick sleeping bag!

2005-06-07T02:16:00.000+08:00

A group farewell dinner, a first and possibly the last.

Yummy prawn salad, at a shopaholic's recommendation. Not to worry, this was only the appetizer. Then I had my very own design-a-pasta and shared a weird post-meal dessert, fries and coleslaw. It certainly does not take much to fathom why I felt so guilt-ridden full after!

2005-06-04T17:25:00.001+08:00

T G I F.

An alcoholic acquaintance got hold of a free voucher for 4 litres of tiger beer to be redeemed between 6-7pm. As witnessed, M and MJ were more interested in the bbq chicken wings and later on, in our self-made crackers platter than the golden bubblies.

I met up with X and D (I promised, no more LP, at least in sober times) heh, at about 10pm. D made us feel inadequate because he had gone home, showered and changed into a clean white stripey shirt. Compared to us, he actually smelled nice!

Don't you dare eye my lychee martini! says D to the two manly corona-drinking girls.

D giving in to X's demands in the end. Why is it that my requests to be sent home first always fall on deaf ears, both D's and mr liao's? I'm a good girl too wot.

2005-06-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

Recent days.

Plagued by a failing commenting system and a bout of work-related lethargy, entries have been lesser than expected. Lotsa exciting happenings though outside of the blogosphere, from late night suppers to a silly revival of chinese names, I'm thrilled almost.

The happiest hour of most work days: lunching at raffles place with the other temporary gallupers.

Can the real cheenapok please stand up?

X says the focus of this photo is supposed to be LP and not an emphasis on her nail-biting.

Little vainpots can take photos of themselves anywhere, with or without the aid of helpful strangers.

Although not as tasty as hyped up to be, this makes for decent enough a meal for a girl who braved an influenza jab and battled hunger for two hours.

On sunday I played at the beach ~~instead of~~ while doing my part for a flag day.

Being caught in the rain is no fun, but playing with giant ads certainly is.

I missed out on a hepatitis A jab because I was sore about parting with $66. My mom nagged at me, even ads in the train turned against me.

Beware of she who takes secret shots of unwary passengers' feet.

2005-05-29T22:34:00.000+08:00

These are exalted females whose intercession is to be desired.

I finally got down to completing it after months, a masterpiece this is. Then my understanding of the book, its significance and islam as a religion improved with post-read materials such as this and this.

I doubt I can give commentaries that can match up to this level, for one it'll take way too much time and two, I might just end up trying to sound intellectual with hardly any meat to substantiate. So it's best I end the entry with a couple of excerpts I enjoyed, also noting to self that I will attempt to smuggle a copy of said book from hong kong come july.

From page 277:

'This is pretty cold comfort,' Chamcha managed a trace of his old dryness. 'Either I accept Lucretius and conclude that some demonic and irrevisible mutation is taking place in my inmost depths, or I go with Ovid and concede that everything now emerging is no more than a manifestation of what was already there.'

From page 364:

... required animals to be killed slowly, by bleeding, so that by experiencing their deaths to the full they might arrive at an understanding of the meaning of their lives, for it is only at the moment of death that living creatures understand that life has been real, and not a sort of dream.

From page 463:

While, elsewhere in the burning Shaandaar, faceless persons stand at windows waving piteously for help, being unable (no mouths) to scream.

From page 467:

What happens when you win?
When your enemies are at your mercy: how will you act then? Compromise is the temptation of the weak; this is the test for the strong.

2005-05-26T00:05:00.000+08:00

Yum, an italian bmt salad lunch.

Well a little too pricey for my pockets, but I gotta eat somewhat in a healthier manner today in typical post-gluttony guilt. Surprisingly I wasn't hungry till 7pm, a novelty in itself since I usually would get hungry in the late afternoons even after huge noodle-bowled lunches.

Last night at n.e.w.t., we probably broke the record again for the only couple who would order $15 worth of chicken wings. We didn't even notice it, but just as we were starting on our meal, the auntie came back with a wing on a small plate. "Sorry, we missed one wing." she said apologetically.

Here's the first photo of us together, this is my mr #30 (originally #33). Darn we didn't even have a photo from our brown bread couch days.

2005-05-24T01:58:00.000+08:00

Over, I repeat, over.

Just emailed a load of tour operators (again). Dead tired. And eagerly anticipating a load of replies from mongolia tomorrow or day after. Well, soon.

2005-05-23T23:50:00.000+08:00

So excited to be venturing into the great unknown soon.

The three mongolian trippers met up for the first time tonight, where else but at blu jaz, I'm glad everyone hit it off great. So looking forward to our shoestring exploration of beijing/mongolia/hong kong, but before that, we're gonna meet again this saturday somewhere in siglap amid desserts to discuss rough trans-siberian train journeys, tough mongolian guides and cool hideouts in beijing. Anyone with helpful info to aid the novices, please do leave a message, heh. Awfully appreciated.