Saturday, November 27, 2004
"I'm forced.. "
Amazing how these words could evoke such depths of confusion to a (supposedly) indifferent me.
Amazing how these words could evoke such depths of confusion to a (supposedly) indifferent me.
Friday, November 26, 2004
Finally over.
But heck the thing wit life is that we don't really get to know when is the beginning or the end. Or if it is just somewhere in between, only dramatified. We can only guess, play along
make up stories we convince ourselves to believe in. that we are in control when in fact we never have been all this while.
But heck the thing wit life is that we don't really get to know when is the beginning or the end. Or if it is just somewhere in between, only dramatified. We can only guess, play along
make up stories we convince ourselves to believe in. that we are in control when in fact we never have been all this while.
With or without you.
Ifwe I don't probe too much the disappointments won't appear as devastating. An analysis can't do us any good, it only shows how a culmination of bitter sweet events actually leads to an outcome beyond our my wildest thoughts. Vulnerabilities, exposed in the piercing wind.
If
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Arghh.
While studying at the clubhouse wit t last weekend, I had sustained numerous mosquito bites on my legs, what's extremely irritating is that till today (and I foresee many days more) these reddish smallish deceitfully harmless looking bumps are refusing to subside into nothingness. For one who rather endures itch than scarred skin, I dare say this time it is almost impossible to refrain from scratching at them.
While studying at the clubhouse wit t last weekend, I had sustained numerous mosquito bites on my legs, what's extremely irritating is that till today (and I foresee many days more) these reddish smallish deceitfully harmless looking bumps are refusing to subside into nothingness. For one who rather endures itch than scarred skin, I dare say this time it is almost impossible to refrain from scratching at them.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
(
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Letters of desire - alphabet book project
Check out lovely series by Yoko shimizu dripping with oriental erotism.
Check out lovely series by Yoko shimizu dripping with oriental erotism.
Notice. urgent
T: something bit me on my finger
T: it gives the funny ticklish painful itchy feeling
me: hahah.........
T: not funny
me: u said it was funny
His finger is swelling rapidly and he needs care from the nearest female source. Only compassionate females need apply.
T: something bit me on my finger
T: it gives the funny ticklish painful itchy feeling
me: hahah.........
T: not funny
me: u said it was funny
His finger is swelling rapidly and he needs care from the nearest female source. Only compassionate females need apply.
From Craig deegan's Financial accounting theory:
"An extremely dull fellow, unimaginative, timid, lacking in initiative, spineless, easily dominated... Whereas in most professions these would be considerable drawbacks, in accountancy they are a positive boon."
.. While accountants may be the subject of such (poorly informed and unpleasant) depictions and taunts, we can rest in the knowledge that we accountants are indeed very powerful individuals. The assertion that accountants are powerful (which is obviously flattering to students of accounting) is based on a number of perspectives..
If it has to be expressed in such a manner, I honestly don't think accounting students would find this flattering - definitely not for me. Sorry Deegan, but in my opinion, this is naught but loser speak. Like the baldy short and tubby guy wit no personality who thinks he is bruce almighty just because he is the cfo of the company. It doesn't happen this way, bruce, it really doesn't.
"An extremely dull fellow, unimaginative, timid, lacking in initiative, spineless, easily dominated... Whereas in most professions these would be considerable drawbacks, in accountancy they are a positive boon."
.. While accountants may be the subject of such (poorly informed and unpleasant) depictions and taunts, we can rest in the knowledge that we accountants are indeed very powerful individuals. The assertion that accountants are powerful (which is obviously flattering to students of accounting) is based on a number of perspectives..
If it has to be expressed in such a manner, I honestly don't think accounting students would find this flattering - definitely not for me. Sorry Deegan, but in my opinion, this is naught but loser speak. Like the baldy short and tubby guy wit no personality who thinks he is bruce almighty just because he is the cfo of the company. It doesn't happen this way, bruce, it really doesn't.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
Friday, November 19, 2004
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Formula
We all know that formulas are less than adequate in explaining the science of love. Well, no harm indulging in a less-than-scientific yardstick sometime.
x = (y/2) + 7, where
x = minimum age of the girlfriend/ wife
y = age of the boyfriend/ husband
God knows where SK heard it from, but he swears by it using it on most couples we know. When I told J about it, she raised an interesting question - that the formula could not have been so simplistic, "Doesn't it encompass some regression or something, considering that SK is a finance professor?" Good point, I'll remind myself to ask SK next time we meet to quench a particular thirst. And talking about god, He must have sent these priests straight down from heaven.
We all know that formulas are less than adequate in explaining the science of love. Well, no harm indulging in a less-than-scientific yardstick sometime.
x = (y/2) + 7, where
x = minimum age of the girlfriend/ wife
y = age of the boyfriend/ husband
God knows where SK heard it from, but he swears by it using it on most couples we know. When I told J about it, she raised an interesting question - that the formula could not have been so simplistic, "Doesn't it encompass some regression or something, considering that SK is a finance professor?" Good point, I'll remind myself to ask SK next time we meet to quench a particular thirst. And talking about god, He must have sent these priests straight down from heaven.
From news.telegraph:
The official retirement age in the city-state is 62, but Lee Kuan Yew, Singapore's founding father, said he was working on a scheme to allow workers to remain in employment. However, because their strength and energy would be less, the pay would be lower.
Mere mortals like us find it hard to comprehend where he's coming from, other than trying to squeeze every bit of economic worth out of an ageing population. Just because people now live longer (on statistical average), doesn't necessarily equate to retaining them in the workforce. I'm sure there's been quite abit of heated coffeeshop chatter over the issue and how Lee just refuses to fade away from policy-making fronts. No prizes for guessing correctly who would rise from the dead in x years to come.
The official retirement age in the city-state is 62, but Lee Kuan Yew, Singapore's founding father, said he was working on a scheme to allow workers to remain in employment. However, because their strength and energy would be less, the pay would be lower.
Mere mortals like us find it hard to comprehend where he's coming from, other than trying to squeeze every bit of economic worth out of an ageing population. Just because people now live longer (on statistical average), doesn't necessarily equate to retaining them in the workforce. I'm sure there's been quite abit of heated coffeeshop chatter over the issue and how Lee just refuses to fade away from policy-making fronts. No prizes for guessing correctly who would rise from the dead in x years to come.
Dawn threw an end-of-term party for us yesterday.
Thank you dawn for everything, I love you to bits. The paper was finally completed so that was a big load off my mind (oh so narcissistic me). Strictly proper wit no booze unlike the other session at the american club, still it was a great homey event for the class and the invited guests from the sess faculty. I listened to kirpal elaborating on sikh traditions as well as his take on why men prefer women not to be too skinny better "to have some meat" on them, while I munched on chips, cookies and chocolate fudge cake (yes glutton and guilt-free). By chance I ended up talking to marco and riccardo because riccardo claimed no one was talking to marco and I being the only student standing near them with no one to talk to (collar-fetish project mate t had something on so submitted his paper and left before we even came). We had a fairly decent conversation revolving around non-accounting related post-grad options, I'm really looking forward to next term where I've been promised songs and dance routines for riccardo's political science class. Sigh, the soa faculty seems so dull in comparison.
Thank you dawn for everything, I love you to bits. The paper was finally completed so that was a big load off my mind (oh so narcissistic me). Strictly proper wit no booze unlike the other session at the american club, still it was a great homey event for the class and the invited guests from the sess faculty. I listened to kirpal elaborating on sikh traditions as well as his take on why men prefer women not to be too skinny better "to have some meat" on them, while I munched on chips, cookies and chocolate fudge cake (yes glutton and guilt-free). By chance I ended up talking to marco and riccardo because riccardo claimed no one was talking to marco and I being the only student standing near them with no one to talk to (collar-fetish project mate t had something on so submitted his paper and left before we even came). We had a fairly decent conversation revolving around non-accounting related post-grad options, I'm really looking forward to next term where I've been promised songs and dance routines for riccardo's political science class. Sigh, the soa faculty seems so dull in comparison.
What life is about –
Realizations in twenty-two years after a handful of correlated events at the twenty-second year juncture.
Perhaps.
It is about not taking the easy way out
Knowing others are actually doing so, and
knowing if I could have done it any other way, I would still have done the same.
(Today, tomorrow or half a decade down)
Learning that getting hurt is but a procedural aspect. of life.
Yet I do not want to cross the threshold, become jaded
(Teach me to achieve the balance, will you)
Trip, fall and pick myself up
because no one will and can give me a helping hand.
Cooling off, self-reflection and non-immediate reaction help put things in perspective.
May not be the most perfect solution,
But at least I do not succumb to anger/ emotions of the moment, and
knowing if I could have done it any other way, I would still have done the same.
(Today, tomorrow or half a decade down)
Realizations in twenty-two years after a handful of correlated events at the twenty-second year juncture.
Perhaps.
It is about not taking the easy way out
Knowing others are actually doing so, and
knowing if I could have done it any other way, I would still have done the same.
(Today, tomorrow or half a decade down)
Learning that getting hurt is but a procedural aspect. of life.
Yet I do not want to cross the threshold, become jaded
(Teach me to achieve the balance, will you)
Trip, fall and pick myself up
because no one will and can give me a helping hand.
Cooling off, self-reflection and non-immediate reaction help put things in perspective.
May not be the most perfect solution,
But at least I do not succumb to anger/ emotions of the moment, and
knowing if I could have done it any other way, I would still have done the same.
(Today, tomorrow or half a decade down)
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
From CHINAdaily:
Chinese Foreign Minister Li Zhaoxing (R) walks with visiting US Secretary of State Colin Powell in Beijing prior to their talks October 25, 2004. [AFP]
During my august trip to beijing, I had the opportunity to meet Li and hear him speak. He spoke extremely fluent english, was humorous and impressed upon us unlike the other stiff/ standoffish chinese leaders. The chinese students present at the event scrambled for his autographs on their conference i.d. tags and surrounded him like a pop star, eager to capture the moment with their cameras. Somewhat a culture shock for the rest of us foreign youth who have never witnessed such a sight with politicians in our respective homelands.
Chinese Foreign Minister Li Zhaoxing (R) walks with visiting US Secretary of State Colin Powell in Beijing prior to their talks October 25, 2004. [AFP]
During my august trip to beijing, I had the opportunity to meet Li and hear him speak. He spoke extremely fluent english, was humorous and impressed upon us unlike the other stiff/ standoffish chinese leaders. The chinese students present at the event scrambled for his autographs on their conference i.d. tags and surrounded him like a pop star, eager to capture the moment with their cameras. Somewhat a culture shock for the rest of us foreign youth who have never witnessed such a sight with politicians in our respective homelands.
Monday, November 15, 2004
The others.
The guy who makes coffee at the coffee stall remarked why I've suddenly switched to kopi c kosong peng today. The weird thing is, that is my usual order and I'm the only one among my friends with this (supposedly-fussy) preference. Yet he keeps insisting I have been influenced by my three male friends who always order such a blend. I would appreciate it if he can introduce me to them because I’ve never been hanging out with three dudes in the cafeteria. He must have remembered the wrong girl, except that he is adamant it is me.
The guy who makes coffee at the coffee stall remarked why I've suddenly switched to kopi c kosong peng today. The weird thing is, that is my usual order and I'm the only one among my friends with this (supposedly-fussy) preference. Yet he keeps insisting I have been influenced by my three male friends who always order such a blend. I would appreciate it if he can introduce me to them because I’ve never been hanging out with three dudes in the cafeteria. He must have remembered the wrong girl, except that he is adamant it is me.
Outsiders, not welcome.
Just because
you don't realize it
doesn't mean your every
move isn't hurting me.
Wounds don't heal
by the day, not
when fresh cuts
are inflicted
on the same places.
Again
and again.
Just because
you don't realize it
doesn't mean your every
move isn't hurting me.
Wounds don't heal
by the day, not
when fresh cuts
are inflicted
on the same places.
Again
and again.
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
That's quoting the first stanza from Maya angelou's Phenomenal woman, the poem that Dawn had given us during our last american studies class on friday. She hopes all of us gurls here would realize confidence is the key to everything. Well, with all the things that life throws at us, I find it really hard most times. It ain't so easy, just when we're ready to get up, we are knocked off balance once more. Every single time. I'm getting weary already.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
That's quoting the first stanza from Maya angelou's Phenomenal woman, the poem that Dawn had given us during our last american studies class on friday. She hopes all of us gurls here would realize confidence is the key to everything. Well, with all the things that life throws at us, I find it really hard most times. It ain't so easy, just when we're ready to get up, we are knocked off balance once more. Every single time. I'm getting weary already.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Rendezvous of sorts, with girlfriends.
Yesterday, after attending a rather interesting morning class, two friends and I treated ourselves to a (I have to admit, not exactly well-deserved) day-off from school. Roaming downtown trying on clothes I eventually didn't buy (sigh), watching an amateur post-modern play and ending our long day (rest those tired feet) at a touristy spot wit beer and barbequed delicacies did amount to a siesta of sparky laughters before the stressful pre-exams.
Yesterday, after attending a rather interesting morning class, two friends and I treated ourselves to a (I have to admit, not exactly well-deserved) day-off from school. Roaming downtown trying on clothes I eventually didn't buy (sigh), watching an amateur post-modern play and ending our long day (rest those tired feet) at a touristy spot wit beer and barbequed delicacies did amount to a siesta of sparky laughters before the stressful pre-exams.
Grr, wit a tinge of sadness.
Feeling misunderstood totally sucks, especially when you care for those people and you know nothing you say can possibly change their opinions. I seem an uptight version of my former self, don't know what's wrong wit me sometimes.
Feeling misunderstood totally sucks, especially when you care for those people and you know nothing you say can possibly change their opinions. I seem an uptight version of my former self, don't know what's wrong wit me sometimes.
From ABC news online:
The United States, which long dismissed Mr Arafat as an obstacle to peace, will be represented by Assistant Secretary of State William Burns while UN Secretary General Kofi Annan will be represented by Middle East envoy Terje Roed-Larson.
Cut the political correctness. So policy interests come first before anything else. I really don't think world leaders deserve to be called hypocrites (not these two at least), but I can't help it - what wit the flowery tributes when the funeral of a fellow leader does not warrant to be important enough to be attended by some of the most powerful heads of state. This marks the passing of a leader not some fancy diplomatic cocktail party. I am feeling increasingly despondent at the current state of diplomacy.
The United States, which long dismissed Mr Arafat as an obstacle to peace, will be represented by Assistant Secretary of State William Burns while UN Secretary General Kofi Annan will be represented by Middle East envoy Terje Roed-Larson.
Cut the political correctness. So policy interests come first before anything else. I really don't think world leaders deserve to be called hypocrites (not these two at least), but I can't help it - what wit the flowery tributes when the funeral of a fellow leader does not warrant to be important enough to be attended by some of the most powerful heads of state. This marks the passing of a leader not some fancy diplomatic cocktail party. I am feeling increasingly despondent at the current state of diplomacy.
Friday, November 12, 2004
Perverts are
men who chose to sit next to you on the bus when there are two thousand empty seats around, who thought you were asleep and so sat extremely close to you, purposely nudging their elbow and arm against you.
cowards who sneak about and don't dare to do more. If only they would, I would so make sure they get their just deserts.
men who chose to sit next to you on the bus when there are two thousand empty seats around, who thought you were asleep and so sat extremely close to you, purposely nudging their elbow and arm against you.
cowards who sneak about and don't dare to do more. If only they would, I would so make sure they get their just deserts.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Things worth pondering over from Thomas friedman's Longitudes and attitudes.
On 'walls'
We are all right up in each other's face now, with no walls from behind which we can refine our messages at home, or scream to ourselves in private and then communicate calmly with each other. Instead I write something in a white-hot rage and it gets right into someone's face in the Middle East or Europe, and then they write back in a white-hot rage, and we both end up angrier than we might have been had we not been so easily connected. It's making the whole world's blood pressure rise in a very dangerous and unhealthy manner.
And this leads to the deeper point that 9/11 is trying to tell us: that while the world is being globalized, shrunk, and tied together ever more closely in technological terms, this has not been accompanied by a better mutual understanding between cultures, countries, and civilizations.
-
When americans, or others, hear all the hate and anger boiling out there against them, even if they don't experience it firsthand, the natural instinct is to want to build walls against it. But walls just aren't what they used to be. In the short term, maybe they can help, but technology is erasing them too quickly. In the long term, the only answer is to figure out ways to change the attitudes and intentions of the people on the other side of the wall, or at least narrow the gap between differing cultures and political traditions so we can share this shrinking planet.
-
... if we are going to survive globalization, "We have to get to know each other, and understand each other better - because now our lives depend on it. It didn't seem that way before. We could live in blissful ignorance. That's over."
On technology and the internet
In some ways, in fact, technology is actually making understanding more difficult. In part this is because, thanks to the Internet and satellite tv stations, everyone now can wath the news that is perfectly tailored to their own views - and not be exposed to the other guy's point of view at all. As a result, all your own stereotypes get confirmed and reinforced... using a lens that caters totally to their own bias.
-
The internet not only allows you to very selectively choose your news from only those sources you already agree with, it also connects you with other people who hold your views, in chat rooms and on web sites, so you can feel part of a community - no matter how loony your views are.
-
What is even more dangerous is that the internet, because it has the aura of technology around it, also has a totally undeserved aura of instant credibility.
-
"In the 1930s, when photography really started to be popularized, people would say, 'The camera never lies,'" said israeli political theorist Yaron ezrahi. "Then people slowly discovered that in the right hands the camera was a great tool for distorting reality. The same is true with the internet."
If only we care to pause and look beyond the surface more often, we would realize most things, actions- and consequences-wise, do make more sense than we ever thought.
On 'walls'
We are all right up in each other's face now, with no walls from behind which we can refine our messages at home, or scream to ourselves in private and then communicate calmly with each other. Instead I write something in a white-hot rage and it gets right into someone's face in the Middle East or Europe, and then they write back in a white-hot rage, and we both end up angrier than we might have been had we not been so easily connected. It's making the whole world's blood pressure rise in a very dangerous and unhealthy manner.
And this leads to the deeper point that 9/11 is trying to tell us: that while the world is being globalized, shrunk, and tied together ever more closely in technological terms, this has not been accompanied by a better mutual understanding between cultures, countries, and civilizations.
-
When americans, or others, hear all the hate and anger boiling out there against them, even if they don't experience it firsthand, the natural instinct is to want to build walls against it. But walls just aren't what they used to be. In the short term, maybe they can help, but technology is erasing them too quickly. In the long term, the only answer is to figure out ways to change the attitudes and intentions of the people on the other side of the wall, or at least narrow the gap between differing cultures and political traditions so we can share this shrinking planet.
-
... if we are going to survive globalization, "We have to get to know each other, and understand each other better - because now our lives depend on it. It didn't seem that way before. We could live in blissful ignorance. That's over."
On technology and the internet
In some ways, in fact, technology is actually making understanding more difficult. In part this is because, thanks to the Internet and satellite tv stations, everyone now can wath the news that is perfectly tailored to their own views - and not be exposed to the other guy's point of view at all. As a result, all your own stereotypes get confirmed and reinforced... using a lens that caters totally to their own bias.
-
The internet not only allows you to very selectively choose your news from only those sources you already agree with, it also connects you with other people who hold your views, in chat rooms and on web sites, so you can feel part of a community - no matter how loony your views are.
-
What is even more dangerous is that the internet, because it has the aura of technology around it, also has a totally undeserved aura of instant credibility.
-
"In the 1930s, when photography really started to be popularized, people would say, 'The camera never lies,'" said israeli political theorist Yaron ezrahi. "Then people slowly discovered that in the right hands the camera was a great tool for distorting reality. The same is true with the internet."
If only we care to pause and look beyond the surface more often, we would realize most things, actions- and consequences-wise, do make more sense than we ever thought.
Deepavali and certain miscellaneous urges.
I'd turned down invites to two festive celebrations on thursday and saturday, accepted an invite to a separate diwali gathering only to realize it is on tonight not tomorrow evening. Bah! So well I'll be spending the whole of tomorrow (diwali) in school working on project drafts and getting started on revision, boring stuff. Lunch was excellent today, best I have had in a while (I want more). I'm tired and wish to turn in for the night, but I haven't complete my readings so I'm going to hang on for abit more. Sigh, as much as I am not supposed to give in to impulsive buys, I am still hankering after a lovely audrey hepburn-ish dress I saw and tried on today.
I'd turned down invites to two festive celebrations on thursday and saturday, accepted an invite to a separate diwali gathering only to realize it is on tonight not tomorrow evening. Bah! So well I'll be spending the whole of tomorrow (diwali) in school working on project drafts and getting started on revision, boring stuff. Lunch was excellent today, best I have had in a while (I want more). I'm tired and wish to turn in for the night, but I haven't complete my readings so I'm going to hang on for abit more. Sigh, as much as I am not supposed to give in to impulsive buys, I am still hankering after a lovely audrey hepburn-ish dress I saw and tried on today.
From Before sunset:
"The only reason this movie is possible is because Julie and Ethan are such incredibly talented actors," says Walker. "We filmed an eight-minute scene in the car, and they could just go all the way through from start to finish, without one stop, not missing a beat. I think that's extraordinary."
What she and jesse talked about in the car, completely mesmerized me. The dialogue in that scene clung on to me long after we'd left the cinema, the impact of those words swam in my mind's haze. I see a celine in myself - possibly disillusioned and dispaired one day. I really hope not, then again the future is not within my control. Post-breakups, her ex boyfriends had all gotten married (the necessity jesse had spoken of?), thanked her for teaching them how to love (such gratitude hurts), left her to choke in tears. Has she put too much into each relationship or too little (so jaded now she can't love like the romantic she used to be)?
And jesse too, where marriage isn't the be all and end all, a marriage wit no love can be more torturous than not finding love. Trapped in a matrimonial union that exists for the sake of pure commitment and lure of responsibility, how can we ensure things don't turn out this way for ourselves? All the what ifs and could have beens only embrace the tragic nature of the situation. When it seems too late to change anything, perhaps it is better not to know; what we don't know can't possibly hurt us. The knowledge might have answered the pressing questions, but a certain inability to react/act/make good the regrets will only eat us up inside, making each day a living dread. Herein the past is but only a burden to how we live our lives today.
"The only reason this movie is possible is because Julie and Ethan are such incredibly talented actors," says Walker. "We filmed an eight-minute scene in the car, and they could just go all the way through from start to finish, without one stop, not missing a beat. I think that's extraordinary."
What she and jesse talked about in the car, completely mesmerized me. The dialogue in that scene clung on to me long after we'd left the cinema, the impact of those words swam in my mind's haze. I see a celine in myself - possibly disillusioned and dispaired one day. I really hope not, then again the future is not within my control. Post-breakups, her ex boyfriends had all gotten married (the necessity jesse had spoken of?), thanked her for teaching them how to love (such gratitude hurts), left her to choke in tears. Has she put too much into each relationship or too little (so jaded now she can't love like the romantic she used to be)?
And jesse too, where marriage isn't the be all and end all, a marriage wit no love can be more torturous than not finding love. Trapped in a matrimonial union that exists for the sake of pure commitment and lure of responsibility, how can we ensure things don't turn out this way for ourselves? All the what ifs and could have beens only embrace the tragic nature of the situation. When it seems too late to change anything, perhaps it is better not to know; what we don't know can't possibly hurt us. The knowledge might have answered the pressing questions, but a certain inability to react/act/make good the regrets will only eat us up inside, making each day a living dread. Herein the past is but only a burden to how we live our lives today.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
So damn early for once, i see
orchard road at 9:30 is
like shenton way after dusk
or a mid-morning mohd sultan stretch;
dead, lifeless, random strangers scuttling past
busier things await, higher on the
priority list
in the morning sun.
these accessories of our city life comes
alive at other hours
(shenton way) traps its business-suited mannequins
during office hours
such is the release of repressed souls onto streets
come tomorrow, we will
rewind/ replay these tragic circumstances.
orchard road at 9:30 is
like shenton way after dusk
or a mid-morning mohd sultan stretch;
dead, lifeless, random strangers scuttling past
busier things await, higher on the
priority list
in the morning sun.
these accessories of our city life comes
alive at other hours
(shenton way) traps its business-suited mannequins
during office hours
such is the release of repressed souls onto streets
come tomorrow, we will
rewind/ replay these tragic circumstances.
Time and again.
There is absolutely no reason for this blatant display oflow no priority for a drama that is so aesthetically pleasing, what more can one say about the laidback southern californian backdrop and a beautiful cast. Its soundtrack's selection of indie music blends everything into a smooth delightful combination of wit, impeccable hip and style. It oozes everything that makes a popular engaging drama, but for the countless program timing shifts and weeks-postponed broadcasts. These have successfully diluted its viewership screwed up episodal momentum, for reasons none too acceptable. While bollywood/ hollywood may appear interesting, it can only barely justify why the o.c. is to be shelved again this week.
There is absolutely no reason for this blatant display of
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Boys who say you are nice will turn out to be the ones who leave you behind. Possibly truth, maybe someone should convince me otherwise.
From washingtonpost.com:
In an interview on Thursday morning, the prime minister told a small group of us from the Times that he thought some of the anti-Bush coverage in the British media was "quite unbelievable," and that he thought it was easy to exaggerate the influence of "religious fundamentalism" on the election result. The U.S. view of the threat it faced after 9/11 "is worthy of serious debate," he said, "rather than condemning people who hold it as liars, warmongers or idiots."
Both sides may still be waging war against each other, but lines are blurring by the day. Who are the religious fundamentalists - the term is but a tool of media/ political rhetoric - here? Good vs. evil - do they mutate evolve into each other? Whose side is the right side, does a right side exist, at all? Has the bush administration imposed a 'religious tax' on americans in spite of the first amendment? Did the administration's intent to uphold american values go wrong because of its innate american character? New material for my fledging paper on unmasking bush administration policies appears by the day. I'm excited, I want to give my best shot for my favorite-est module in a long while. My only obstacle, can only be time.
In an interview on Thursday morning, the prime minister told a small group of us from the Times that he thought some of the anti-Bush coverage in the British media was "quite unbelievable," and that he thought it was easy to exaggerate the influence of "religious fundamentalism" on the election result. The U.S. view of the threat it faced after 9/11 "is worthy of serious debate," he said, "rather than condemning people who hold it as liars, warmongers or idiots."
Both sides may still be waging war against each other, but lines are blurring by the day. Who are the religious fundamentalists - the term is but a tool of media/ political rhetoric - here? Good vs. evil - do they mutate evolve into each other? Whose side is the right side, does a right side exist, at all? Has the bush administration imposed a 'religious tax' on americans in spite of the first amendment? Did the administration's intent to uphold american values go wrong because of its innate american character? New material for my fledging paper on unmasking bush administration policies appears by the day. I'm excited, I want to give my best shot for my favorite-est module in a long while. My only obstacle, can only be time.
Moving forward, thinking back.
This time I'd paid a price for mom's scalding words (coupla months back). Yet there's no use probing into the what ifs or harping over wot's done. I won't think too much about/ into it, because it can only turn out depressing. The incident hurt me, but I think it hurt him even more than I am. Plainly because it was so uncalled for. Maybe he'd read too much into it, even so I have to say the fault is certainly not his.
In cheerier news, I am glad I was honest with N this afternoon. It is a tat overdue but like wot he said, it's never too late for being honest. I should have told him that which was bugging me and how I'd felt about matters all those times he asked me what was on my mind. I feel so much better today than I've had in days. I may still have some other things on my mind, but it doesn't really matter so in light of the situation now. These, I can (have already?) sort(ed) out myself.
Sometimes our conversations do get so piercing and nasty they are painful to hear. Fortunately I have to agree they are not for nothing. We've managed to iron out differences set records straight be honest and receptive to criticisms. I'm grateful for this special friendship, to say the least.
This time I'd paid a price for mom's scalding words (coupla months back). Yet there's no use probing into the what ifs or harping over wot's done. I won't think too much about/ into it, because it can only turn out depressing. The incident hurt me, but I think it hurt him even more than I am. Plainly because it was so uncalled for. Maybe he'd read too much into it, even so I have to say the fault is certainly not his.
In cheerier news, I am glad I was honest with N this afternoon. It is a tat overdue but like wot he said, it's never too late for being honest. I should have told him that which was bugging me and how I'd felt about matters all those times he asked me what was on my mind. I feel so much better today than I've had in days. I may still have some other things on my mind, but it doesn't really matter so in light of the situation now. These, I can (have already?) sort(ed) out myself.
Sometimes our conversations do get so piercing and nasty they are painful to hear. Fortunately I have to agree they are not for nothing. We've managed to iron out differences set records straight be honest and receptive to criticisms. I'm grateful for this special friendship, to say the least.
Monday, November 08, 2004
On human qualities, questioning the right to love and be loved.
What does it mean - the right man, the love of your life - the concept is absurd; the idea that we can only be complete with another person - is evil right?
I'd heard this from the trailer of a movie J and I so want to catch one of these days. Perhaps it is absurd, though I must admit I have been subscribing to the idea. Rethink the logic? Have I been so mindless to persecute myself be hard on myself put myself down feel inferior - a willing victim to an outdated theory without basis?
"Is being in a relationship so important to me?" I was asked.
Brief pause. Only because the question had hit me at my weaker spots.
Yes, but not like I can't live without it. (How else would I get by these post-pubescence years?) I do get by quite fine most times. Thank you.
Among everything else, it's always pleasant to know there is someone who will still be there for you in bad times, who sees you for who you really are (beneath), who listens to your incessant comments when no one else would, who laughs with you (not at you) during your silliest antics, who shares your joys (in pure sincere happiness), and who, just with his mere presence, comforts you. Also, to know that you are able to do the same for him. We need reassurances sometimes. I think I am still searching for mine.
(Am I asking for too much? Is this idealism overdose?)
We practise double standards, especially in love.
Some guy from school asked me the other day what I'd thought of him and why I'd thought lowly of soon-to-be 'successful' men like him. How do I tell him he forms part of the reason, the epitome of the local rat-race version of ideal success - that so puts me off, without being rude? Why is it that when people we deem unattractive seem vaguely interested in us we retreat at the slightest confrontation, shout harrassment! Why the repulsion, who are we to judge, why do we not feel as flattered?
I think we are more forgiving to the ones we love. Think about it, it's true; consider if we are not obliged to be nice to persons for any reasons,
this has to be the rationale behind.
What does it mean - the right man, the love of your life - the concept is absurd; the idea that we can only be complete with another person - is evil right?
I'd heard this from the trailer of a movie J and I so want to catch one of these days. Perhaps it is absurd, though I must admit I have been subscribing to the idea. Rethink the logic? Have I been so mindless to persecute myself be hard on myself put myself down feel inferior - a willing victim to an outdated theory without basis?
"Is being in a relationship so important to me?" I was asked.
Brief pause. Only because the question had hit me at my weaker spots.
Yes, but not like I can't live without it. (How else would I get by these post-pubescence years?) I do get by quite fine most times. Thank you.
Among everything else, it's always pleasant to know there is someone who will still be there for you in bad times, who sees you for who you really are (beneath), who listens to your incessant comments when no one else would, who laughs with you (not at you) during your silliest antics, who shares your joys (in pure sincere happiness), and who, just with his mere presence, comforts you. Also, to know that you are able to do the same for him. We need reassurances sometimes. I think I am still searching for mine.
(Am I asking for too much? Is this idealism overdose?)
We practise double standards, especially in love.
Some guy from school asked me the other day what I'd thought of him and why I'd thought lowly of soon-to-be 'successful' men like him. How do I tell him he forms part of the reason, the epitome of the local rat-race version of ideal success - that so puts me off, without being rude? Why is it that when people we deem unattractive seem vaguely interested in us we retreat at the slightest confrontation, shout harrassment! Why the repulsion, who are we to judge, why do we not feel as flattered?
I think we are more forgiving to the ones we love. Think about it, it's true; consider if we are not obliged to be nice to persons for any reasons,
this has to be the rationale behind.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Spam, quite tastefully done.
Newsy newspapers.
I was reading the asian wall street journal on the train today, concluded that politics/ current affairs sections are definitely a more appetizing read than the (yawn) business/ finance columns. The coverage on post-US election 2004 was excellent, concise and objective. Pity about the broadsheet, either I ended up reading in awkward uncomfortable positions or I got in the way of other commuters. Both ways, equally as disruptive to my leisurely morning read. Well, perhaps not so leisurely - actually I was on my way to a meeting two hours late.
I was reading the asian wall street journal on the train today, concluded that politics/ current affairs sections are definitely a more appetizing read than the (yawn) business/ finance columns. The coverage on post-US election 2004 was excellent, concise and objective. Pity about the broadsheet, either I ended up reading in awkward uncomfortable positions or I got in the way of other commuters. Both ways, equally as disruptive to my leisurely morning read. Well, perhaps not so leisurely - actually I was on my way to a meeting two hours late.
How absurd.
An expat political science professor told us that his employment contract explicitly states he is not supposed to discuss Singapore politics during his course of teaching here. A load of bullshit by the draconian control freak we call government. I was telling my mom about the matter just now, and she actually agreed wit the policy! There you go, irreconcilable differences plainly exemplified.
An expat political science professor told us that his employment contract explicitly states he is not supposed to discuss Singapore politics during his course of teaching here. A load of bullshit by the draconian control freak we call government. I was telling my mom about the matter just now, and she actually agreed wit the policy! There you go, irreconcilable differences plainly exemplified.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
US foreign policy set for change.
Nice. I like how this analysis is simple and straight to the point. No fuss.
Nice. I like how this analysis is simple and straight to the point. No fuss.
Practicing some restraint.
Sometimes I'm jealous. Say, that's because I care, well that only sounds cliche/lame. Anyhow I know I'm in no position to and am not supposed to be. So I should try to stop (ruining this great friendship and) feeling this way. Well, emotions constantly swirl faster than you can ever catch hold of them, I am almost always two steps behind.
Sometimes I'm jealous. Say, that's because I care, well that only sounds cliche/lame. Anyhow I know I'm in no position to and am not supposed to be. So I should try to stop (ruining this great friendship and) feeling this way. Well, emotions constantly swirl faster than you can ever catch hold of them, I am almost always two steps behind.
Friday, November 05, 2004
From ABC News:
Yasser Arafat, fighting for his life in a French hospital, has lost consciousness repeatedly in recent hours, Palestinian officials said Thursday. They described his condition as extremely serious.
The officials said they could not immediately confirm media reports that the 75-year-old Palestinian leader had lapsed into a coma. French hospital officials would not comment on the ailing leader's health.
Does it mean that when we grow old our crimes would be washed away like remnants of our youth?
We were told they were nasty men who manipulated politics, masterminded rampages of lootings/killings, committed heinous acts worthy of infinite repercussions.
Yet at the end of it all, they appear childlike, harmless old men as likeable as our grandfathers - completely different from the media who (seemingly) are still smearing their reputations. It started with Pol pot, and then Suharto. This time it is Arafat.
My heart goes out to him as he fights yet the biggest battle of his life. This time he seems to be losing, and while the adults cheer, I know I'm on his side. Gullible youth I might be for now, perhaps life's experiences in due course will teach me the lessons one day.
Yasser Arafat, fighting for his life in a French hospital, has lost consciousness repeatedly in recent hours, Palestinian officials said Thursday. They described his condition as extremely serious.
The officials said they could not immediately confirm media reports that the 75-year-old Palestinian leader had lapsed into a coma. French hospital officials would not comment on the ailing leader's health.
Does it mean that when we grow old our crimes would be washed away like remnants of our youth?
We were told they were nasty men who manipulated politics, masterminded rampages of lootings/killings, committed heinous acts worthy of infinite repercussions.
Yet at the end of it all, they appear childlike, harmless old men as likeable as our grandfathers - completely different from the media who (seemingly) are still smearing their reputations. It started with Pol pot, and then Suharto. This time it is Arafat.
My heart goes out to him as he fights yet the biggest battle of his life. This time he seems to be losing, and while the adults cheer, I know I'm on his side. Gullible youth I might be for now, perhaps life's experiences in due course will teach me the lessons one day.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
How far is too far?
I just saw a channelnewsasia ad on tv that showcases how this channel is in a unique position to reach out to the multi-faceted populace in most, if not all, of asia. One of the shots was taken from within a car and focuses on an aged indian man begging for money from the car's occupants. I wonder how ethical that is, when the crew did not hesitate to make use of his plight in selling the vibrant, exciting place we call asia. They probably need to bring the message across to a regional audience, but at the expense of fellow asians? For a premium news broadcaster that prides itself as one that "offers unique asian perspectives on issues that affect each country in asia and its people", that is taking the matter far too lightly perhaps.
I just saw a channelnewsasia ad on tv that showcases how this channel is in a unique position to reach out to the multi-faceted populace in most, if not all, of asia. One of the shots was taken from within a car and focuses on an aged indian man begging for money from the car's occupants. I wonder how ethical that is, when the crew did not hesitate to make use of his plight in selling the vibrant, exciting place we call asia. They probably need to bring the message across to a regional audience, but at the expense of fellow asians? For a premium news broadcaster that prides itself as one that "offers unique asian perspectives on issues that affect each country in asia and its people", that is taking the matter far too lightly perhaps.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
N has commented that I have sounded frustrated/ negative of late. Indeed I do have to agree, but why so. Especially when I believe I'm already over it, for certain. Possibly stress, but I'm not going to take part in the obs programme the weekend before exams start anymore, oh then it must be the guilt from sitting on the research tasks I promise joseph I would work on as I currently rush to complete my projects. Ok it might have something to do wit last week but I frankly don't understand why I'm feeling this way when I'm absolute I am nonchalant. I'm baffled.
From CNN.com:
World leaders back 'whoever wins'
Talk about permanent interests and compromising principles. The state of international diplomacy, as much as we try to uphold its integrity and purpose, boils down to the ugly, irrefutable truth as described in the headline.
Talk about Kerry flip-flopping. Talk about ourselves. Talk about our respectable leaders who make important decisions on behalf of us, who are solely in the positions they are today because they are assumed to be wiser and more capable in their abilities to uphold the people's choices. We are the ones who go wherever the wind blows (together wit Kerry).
Talk about daily lives and how we ought to behave. When even nations behave this way, it gives us one more justification other than the usual everyone is doing it/ I don't want to do it but I have no choice/ this is life this is the reality/ etc.
Talk about the decadence of our society. Are we moving forward, or are we moving backward in spite of all the technological forwards?
World leaders back 'whoever wins'
Talk about permanent interests and compromising principles. The state of international diplomacy, as much as we try to uphold its integrity and purpose, boils down to the ugly, irrefutable truth as described in the headline.
Talk about Kerry flip-flopping. Talk about ourselves. Talk about our respectable leaders who make important decisions on behalf of us, who are solely in the positions they are today because they are assumed to be wiser and more capable in their abilities to uphold the people's choices. We are the ones who go wherever the wind blows (together wit Kerry).
Talk about daily lives and how we ought to behave. When even nations behave this way, it gives us one more justification other than the usual everyone is doing it/ I don't want to do it but I have no choice/ this is life this is the reality/ etc.
Talk about the decadence of our society. Are we moving forward, or are we moving backward in spite of all the technological forwards?
Most beautiful.
As I channel-surfed tonight trying to look for elections news, I came across a James Lipton interview with Jennifer Lopez. If I were to pick the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, no doubt she would beat anyone else, hands down.
As I channel-surfed tonight trying to look for elections news, I came across a James Lipton interview with Jennifer Lopez. If I were to pick the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, no doubt she would beat anyone else, hands down.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Theorizing something abstract. I don't expect to be understood.
The world is only what it is, because of how each of us sees it. Through our individual perspectives. So already, reality is innately different for every single one of us and then varied even more as we infuse upbringing, experiences and culture. This thought sprung up on me as I read midway through this afternoon's accounting theory class before my presentation. Don't ask me how the idea popped up, it just did.
Since we cannot be at all places all the time, thus often, other than the limited first-hand experiences of daily life, we have to rely much on news reports from external sources such as the papers, tv, radio and the internet. In short, what we construe as reality (the world we live in) is in fact a combination of our mental consumption of other people's opinions, as how journalists see it. Their perception their opinions grow on us and become our own eventually. Say, if I flip the papers for two days and twice what catches my attention are reports on hostage deaths in Iraq and terrorist bombings in Tel aviv, I may conclude inevitably then, that situations in the middle east are unstable.
This is in addition to our subconscious-bias in the selection of particular subjects - as we sieve through data, we are more likely to select those that interest us more and pinpoint similarities among articles than objectively let random articles 'catch our eye'. Thus, as much as we insist our instincts/decisions are guided by facts, this is never the case because of certain inherent features that make us us. As a result, while we may all live in the same world, the world we each live in has, well, never been the same one.
The world is only what it is, because of how each of us sees it. Through our individual perspectives. So already, reality is innately different for every single one of us and then varied even more as we infuse upbringing, experiences and culture. This thought sprung up on me as I read midway through this afternoon's accounting theory class before my presentation. Don't ask me how the idea popped up, it just did.
Since we cannot be at all places all the time, thus often, other than the limited first-hand experiences of daily life, we have to rely much on news reports from external sources such as the papers, tv, radio and the internet. In short, what we construe as reality (the world we live in) is in fact a combination of our mental consumption of other people's opinions, as how journalists see it. Their perception their opinions grow on us and become our own eventually. Say, if I flip the papers for two days and twice what catches my attention are reports on hostage deaths in Iraq and terrorist bombings in Tel aviv, I may conclude inevitably then, that situations in the middle east are unstable.
This is in addition to our subconscious-bias in the selection of particular subjects - as we sieve through data, we are more likely to select those that interest us more and pinpoint similarities among articles than objectively let random articles 'catch our eye'. Thus, as much as we insist our instincts/decisions are guided by facts, this is never the case because of certain inherent features that make us us. As a result, while we may all live in the same world, the world we each live in has, well, never been the same one.
Spectres from the past will haunt you.
Monday, November 01, 2004
And then there were two girls.
Yesterday I'd met J for dinner then we spent the rest of the night loitering the length of orchard road till orchard towers stretch, cheap booze in hands and occasionally waving to cheerful crowds in their halloween bests - J yearning for a jedi master to wave to her too. A kind of simple night out with none of the intricacies, out only because we want to. And nothing else.
Yesterday I'd met J for dinner then we spent the rest of the night loitering the length of orchard road till orchard towers stretch, cheap booze in hands and occasionally waving to cheerful crowds in their halloween bests - J yearning for a jedi master to wave to her too. A kind of simple night out with none of the intricacies, out only because we want to. And nothing else.
